Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
