Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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