New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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