Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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