Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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