What a fucking waste of an outfit
Me. At least after what I've been through.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
