Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You pole danced in your parka.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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