i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
there is another microwave in the elevator.
please don't ironically join a cult
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