You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
