best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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