i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
