It's like a parade of train wrecks.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
