Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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