Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
