Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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