ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
this hospital has no fireball
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
