speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
