You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i came on her dog
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
