I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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