I wanna bring you to show and tell
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
