She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
