Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
