Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize