you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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