it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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