So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize