I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize