You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
