I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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