If i come over, it means nothing
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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