On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
