Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My balls are so social today.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
