so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
