Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my mouth tastes like poor choices
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
