He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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