why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
