Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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