I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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