i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize