so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize