Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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