what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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