we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
