I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
What a dumb baby whore.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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