how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
