I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
