If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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