her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
