This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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