The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
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we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Hippo gnu deer
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
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Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize