please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
