how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
