Its about making memories worth repressing
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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