I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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