Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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