she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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