I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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