She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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