THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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