I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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