That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize